10 Comments
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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Eeuw! You gave us the entire Michael. I could even smell him. And then you left us with so much to imagine. I have always admired your ability to put us into the scene in the middle of a story and then jump out before the end. Instant engagement of your readers. It is something I strive for as well, ( with varying degrees of success...)

Tom Cornfoot's avatar

Thanks Sharron! This was a real guy I used to know, he also once shouted at me for wearing a black shirt, which was allowed at work but he associated it with the pro-fascist groups under Oswald Mosley. He wasn't all bad... Thank you as always for being so supportive :)

K.C. Knouse's avatar

The fruit machine: that's a new one for me. You drew a sad but accurate picture of a person who is a legend in his own mind.

Tom Cornfoot's avatar

Parts of this story, unlike most of what I write, are completely true. There was a waiter, and I was told that he had lost a fortune on the fruit machines. I remember being totally bewildered that someone could lose vast amounts on a machine that essentially runs on coins, but people do... Thanks for reading, K.C!

Sue Cauhape's avatar

Ooooo, I feel greasy just reading about this pathetic man. Bravo!

Tom Cornfoot's avatar

Thanks Sue. I'm glad it came across — I was aiming for a real character study on this guy. Thanks for reading, as always!

SueYPalmer's avatar

I love the atmosphere in this and how I instantaneously loathe Michael but am intrigued by him in equal measure.

Tom Cornfoot's avatar

Thanks Sue! He was a real guy I used to work with, and he has stuck in my mind for years. I feel like he'd be full of good stories...

SueYPalmer's avatar

Or the main character of a full length story? I enjoy reading your Stories from Nowhere. Haven’t used Substack before but I might have a go.

SueYPalmer's avatar

Maybe there's enough for a longer piece?